The longing that comes from missing someone can range from minor feelings of sadness to downright agony depending on the relationship and the amount of time you've been apart. Naturally, missing your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner is a totally normal reaction to being separated from them. Your heart might ache, but your head is involved, too.
Chemical reactions in your brain can trigger major waves of emotion. According to a study by Yeshiva University neuroscientist Lucy Brownthat sensation of withdrawal some people feel after a breakup is actually very similar to how it feels to quit a substance like alcohol.
So, if your favorite person is away and you're wondering why you feel totally under the weather, then don't fret.
To better understand what's going on in the brain of someone who's missing their Missing, I spoke with Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist, relationship coachand creator of the Your Happiness Hypothesis Method, and d psychologist and founder of Rapport Relationships Jennifer B. However, before we jump into the science of missing a romantic partner, it's important to understand how romantic attachment works.
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According to Silva, once you've fallen for someone, your body naturally speeds up its processing of these feel-good hormones, which creates a chemical intensity that is often described as "love. Essentially, your emotions are mimicking your brain when your SO is gone," explains Silva.
Rhodes also points out that the length of the relationship impacts the way our brains processes feelings of longing. This explains why those in longer relationships may feel less emotionally lover by being away from the one they love, as opposed to the missing you've likely felt when a new partner is out of reach for the first time. That awful feeling will fade with time. Luckily, there are also ways to combat the feelings of sadness caused by missing yours.
She recommends, "Writing, cooking, drawing, photography, art, music, cake decorating, or coloring are some ways that you can divert your attention from not having your SO around. Although staying busy and creative can definitely help your brain curb feelings of withdrawal and heartache, it's totally OK if you're still feeling a bit sad.
To combat this, Rhodes recommends being open with your partner about what your needs are and resisting the lover to let anxiety control your behavior. While talking on the phone for an hour every day you're apart might not be realistic, letting your partner know you'd like to make missing contact daily is totally valid.
Make a point of planning dates you can do over FaceTimeor send dirty texts to make the distance feel yours nothing. Rhodes also recommends taking note of partners who "belittle" or "dismiss" your needs when you aren't together, because feeling safe and secure in your relationship especially when you can't be together physically is so important.
It's totally normal to miss your partner, but it's nice to know that there's a scientific reason behind why it feels so icky.
I miss you quotes and messages
Try to remember you're not alone — thousands of people have to deal with distance in their relationships at some point or another. At the end of the day, if handled responsibly, you might end up with a stronger relationship. After all, distance does make the heart grow fonder. This article was originally published on By Tayi Sanusi.
Updated: June 16, Originally Published: Sep. Search Close.