Dating by definition and de is somewhere in between friendship and marriage, therefore Christian guys and girls are always trying to navigate the confusion which is always produced by romance without commitment.
God deed the two to always be paired together, so knowing how much romance to engage in when the commitment is limited is tricky. You want to get the most out of the dating experience to see whether marriage is in the cards which I believe is the healthiest goal of dating.
Christian dating setting boundaries
You want to open up enough for the person to really get to know you. Even defining these terms would be a challenge. If you asked one Christian guy to make two lists, one describing conservative values in dating and another list describing liberal boundaries in dating, and then you asked another guy to do the same thing, I have no idea what they would each include.
All I can guarantee you is that their lists would look nothing alike. So here is a list describing 5 boundary to consider in Christian dating relationships. While this is a clear command in Scripture, how you guard your heart in dating is less clear. One area to consider placing boundaries around is your emotions.
Setting boundaries for christian dating
If you want to ride an emotional rollercoaster not sure why you wouldjust start dating! Dating, again, is precarious because you are more than friends but less than spouses and the status of your relationship can change at any moment because dating comes with christian commitment levels. The more commitment there is, the more emotional dating there should be. Emotional bonds without commitment is what le to broken hearts. You should be able to share everything with your spouse because the two of you have made one of the greatest good commitments available on planet earth.
You should not for everything with your boyfriend or girlfriend because the highest levels of commitment are not yet there. How much should you emotionally connect in a Christian dating relationship? Just enough. You should share what you need to share to accomplish the goals of dating and no more. In other words, you should connect enough to know whether or not you want to connect more in marriage. With each increase in emotional attachment you should add boundary.
If you do this, you will get married fairly quickly. So guard your heart. Just like your emotions, planning for the future together in your Christian dating experience should coincide with increased levels of commitment. The more commitment the two of you make, the more it makes sense to talk about the future.
Start a new gift
All you are going to do is increase your emotional intimacy which will influence your sexual desires, all while your commitment is too low for such feelings. Just stop.
If you want to keep your emotions and heart in healthy places during your Christian dating relationship, make sure you have healthy boundaries around conversations regarding the future. You can list a lot of fun things in Christian dating. It should be fun. And one of the fun parts about dating is the hope it often brings.
Hope is a joyful expectation of something good. While our hope should ultimately be in Jesus Christ, there should be healthy levels of hope for a dating relationship to progress into marriage.
From gods to gallows
If there is no hope in a dating relationship, why would you be in it? But on the flipside, the unfulfilled hope of a dating relationship turning into a breakup rather than a marriage can make a heart sick. Any breakup is going to hurt because all dating relationships have hope in them, and when hope is deferred the heart grows sick. The higher the hope was, the more the heart is going to hurt if that hope is deferred. Dating for a week and then breaking up will hurt but not nearly as bad as breaking up during the engagement period because your hope was so much bigger and closer to becoming reality.
Therefore you should put boundaries around your expectations and hopes in your Christian dating relationship. Ask God to give you healthy and realistic levels. List your goals for each season of the Christian dating relationship and try to balance your emotions with logic. Dating needs to be vulnerable. You just need to be wise as well. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. So to guard you heart, you need to make sure your levels of hope are appropriate for the season your Christian dating relationship is actually in.
If this one is not on your list of Christian dating boundaries, something is wrong with you. How far is too far? What are you aloud to do in dating? Is kissing okay?
The teaching ministry of mark ballenger
What about spooning? Anything done with your spouse is good. Anything done without your spouse is sin. I get these two from 1 Corinthians So the Bible does not give us a list of sexual boundaries we are not to cross in Christian dating. Rather, again, it gives us two big we are to stay within: 1. Sexual experiences away from your spouse are sin.
Sexual experiences with your spouse are good. The trickier part will be to define what is an act rooted in sexual desire and what is an act that is simply a of affection.
Read the article for more on this. This list of important dating boundaries for Christians could go on and on. When Christians abstain from sexual sin, I think the desire to connect through words is going to be even more intense. But just like the rest of theseyou must balance your commitment levels with the levels you are connecting at. Guard what you say if you want to guard your heart.
Subscribe to our mailing list
Not everyone feels the same way about these three words as I do. But I believe these words should not be spoken in a dating relationship. I reserved these words for my proposal with my wife. I did that because I felt if I truly loved her, why would I wait to marry her? Love is loyalty. Love is commitment. Love is you saying you are going to be there for the person no matter what. And the only way I knew I could really show my love for her was with my commitment. Of course there are different levels to love. Get your copy of Redeemed Like David and access to all of our eBooks.
Table of contents
It's completely free - my gift to you. Study Guide and Leader's Guide Included.
Proverbs Posted on Monday, September 11,