But a of my older datings are single, and their experiences of facing treatment and survivorship alone are profoundly moving. They often want to find someone with whom to share their life—and this is a service challenge. There are times when I am tempted to start a matchmaking service for the men and women, both gay and straight, who tell me how lonely they are and how they long for someone to share their life with. That would not be ethical of course—but I bet I would be successful in pairing some of them up.
I often hear stories that describe how difficult it is to dip an older toe into for world of dating in ; the cancer is so different from the s and s patient last they were single.
The professional networking site for asco's worldwide oncology community
Dating these days seems to start with an online membership to one of the many dating websites out there. That, in itself, is a challenge for many of my older patients who are not tech-savvy or at least not comfortable with posting a picture and completing an online profile. In other words, they are a disappointment. My patients ask me what they should do next—and having never registered a profile myself, I am not able to provide much more than common sense suggestions.
The dating game: older patients with cancer, survivors seeking supportive partners
And 3: You need to talk about expectations about a physical relationship sooner rather than later. Something that I have found interesting is that both men and women say that they are most interested in companionship. What does that mean? Most of my patients say that they want someone to travel with, to go out for dinner with, or to a movie or symphony concert.
See why I would like to start a matchmaking service? It seems that after cancer men and women who are not able to either have erections or who are not interested in sex, are willing to do it if a potential partner wants it—or if they assume that a potential partner wants it.
What if the desire for sex or a platonic relationship were two items on the profile list of a dating website? If I were running a matchmaking service for this population, those would be important questions to respond to and would be on the profile of everyone who ed.
Online dating sites for cancer patients and survivors
One of the saddest stories I have heard in this realm was that of an year-old man who lived in a nursing home. He came to see me, asking for something to help him have an erection he had multi-modality treatment for recurrent prostate cancer so options that might help were limited.
He told me that there are many women in the nursing home which is typical and that what he really wanted was companionship. Is this real or his perspective?
Do elderly women really judge men in this way? And do they talk about it among themselves? And he is not the only man to have told me this.
It sounds a bit like high school with gossip and innuendo, and, as a consequence, hurt feelings and bruised self-esteem and lots of lonely people who are not part of the A-list. For many, beyond the acute loss of a life partner, lies years of loneliness or at least alone-ness. Adult children and grandchildren often live many miles away, and the opportunities for a hug are few and far between.
As human beings, we need physical touch and connectedness to others. Who said that the older years are golden?
They seem pretty grey to me. Not to sound spammy, but there is a cancer survivor dating site called CancerMatch It started in New York City in and now is international. It's entirely free. It's where we don't have to "explain" everything!
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